This piece was originally published at THUMP in August 2016.
It started around midnight last night, the worrying and fretting, sweat emanating from the pores of nervous stans. When oh when would the new Frank Ocean album drop? Surely it must be any minute now, given the New York Times story from earlier in the week, revealing August 5 as the release date for the R&B sensation's highly-anticipated Boys Don't Cry, the follow-up to his game-changing 2012 LP channel ORANGE. Fans watched a mysterious live stream on the singer's website, hoping for some clues or tunes from an artist seemingly more interested in carpentry than music.
Yet no matter how many times these eager followers desperately refreshed Apple Music, the record did not come. By sunrise, the world was in a frothy panic over yet another missed Frank Ocean release date. Hunger strikes were declared. Babies refused to be born. Cannibalism would surely soon follow.